equity casting guide for deaf, disabled and neurodivergent dancers

On the 11th of August 2022, I was invited by Annie Hanauer to speak at the launch of the Equity Casting Guide for Deaf, Disabled and Neurodivergent Dancers. I did not work directly on the guide but have been working with Annie as part of the Equity Dance Committee. The invitation was to discuss my experiences and why this guide feels important, below is a transcript of what was shared.

Hello!

I am a dancer proudly based in Scotland.

I’ve been disabled for around seven years, and I’m neurodivergent but still figuring out how much masking I actually do, after thirty years of pretending to not to be for so long.

All of my work is in the subsidised sector which you might think means it is underpinned by a greater potential for accountability. However, competition is high.

The push for and rush towards ethical working practices in the subsidised sector has also led to a lot of - what I like to call - bullshit bingo. Centring care, radical care, horizontal working, mutual aid… almost all terms co-opted from black and queer communities, carefully developed as branding by employers who use this kind of language to indicate that they are one of the good ones and therefore more deserving of the limited funding that exists.

I hope that as people who have turned up to the launch of guide about more equitable casting, that we all know that those with most power in the room should not get to define the experience of working with them, and that the true measure of their work is in how the most precarious in the room experience it - yet this ethical branding is free for all to use as they choose with limited accountability.

This annoys me generally but even more so in the dance sector where our whole practice is about how things exist in our bodies and in spaces. Our work is not theoretical – we must live it, physicalise it and experience it – but there is still a level of cognitive dissonance across the board.

And so, it is bittersweet being here today.

What I really want to do is tell you in depth and detail about an experience I had earlier this year where my access requirements were disregarded so badly, and I was treated with such hostility when advocating for myself that I had an offer of work at The Fringe retracted. And then, in solidarity 80% of the cast/ crew walked off the contract citing that they could not condone the ill treatment I received and untenable conditions we had to work in, meaning the show had to be cancelled.  But, instead of taking space to be accountable and learn, the company have put on another show anyway and cited their reason for the cancellation being that as a company who centres care they must prioritise the team’s well-being – once again protecting themselves as a company who is one of the good ones. An industry leader. Safe.

This is despite the cast refusing work in solidarity with the experiences of a disabled performer.
We all know this industry – workers will put up with a lot before turning down work.
To walk away is generally (excuse the use of the work) unprecedented.

So, it’s taken a lot for me to be here today because in order to recover from what has been a deeply traumatic experience, I’ve had to decide to avoid The Edinburgh Festivals all together because I’m scared to see those people or to be in industry conversations where they may come up. I don’t want to be involved in industry gossip but also don’t want to have to lie.

So, I’m missing out on the first full Fringe in two years I a city that I called home for fifteen years, where so many of my friends could use my support and where the things I love most in the world are all gathered together.

Instead, I’m at home doing physio to retrain my body after a month of consistent stress induced chronic pain, and paying for regular therapy sessions to rebuild my confidence in terms of advocating for my rights.  It’s looking like it will be March 2023 before I’ll be able to consider myself fully recovered. I’ve already had to give up some work and it’s likely I’m going to have find a way to finance a three-month period without any work – sidenote, I’m not rich.  AND… to add to the distress Scottish Dance Theatre my national company, the company I have followed since I knew dance was a possible job have just announced their first accessible and open call out for dancers. I won’t be auditioning, because I physically and mentally am not strong enough to be that vulnerable. I don’t know if that chance will come round for me again.

And yet, the employers who created the conditions that caused this damage are doing a Fringe run, - just cracking on. The work will be good, I’ve no doubt (I don’t want it to be anything other than), but at what cost?

It’s hard to share what I’m saying. I’m fully aware that when I stand on these podiums, I never appear particularly vulnerable – there are assumptions to challenge in there - but I’m saying this aloud because we all need to remember that the damage from bad practice has an impact far beyond the contract duration.

And we need to remember that this is why this guide is so crucial.
We have it in our power to prevent harm.

The company that I worked with had it in their power to prevent harm.
They didn’t this time but you can.

So today, whilst someone has passed me the mic I would like to plea with employers - please stop saying trendy things and get passionate about workers’ rights.  Don’t just read this guide, pull it apart, contextualise it, apply it specifically and be excited about the potential working in a new way offers you and your work.  Sack off the buzzwords and do the actual work - including preparing yourself to be accountable because if you’re doing it right, you’re going to get it wrong sometimes. Nobody expects perfection but remember that care is a verb not a brand. It’s fluid not fixed and ultimately all deaf, disabled and neurodivergent people are asking is for the opportunity to do their best work with you. Avoiding this is frankly just bad business!

And lastly, a plea to comrades who wish to be allies.  Whilst employers, institutions and inherited inaccessible systems are slow to change, remember that this guide is for you too.  Read it, learn it, advocate for it and organise.  If my cast members had not walked out in solidarity with me, I wouldn’t be looking at a period of interrupted working, I would be leaving the industry.  But their solidarity showed me that that the workers – the real back bone of the industry – are hungry for change.

I know work is light on the ground and the majority of us are really scared about surviving.  I know it is not easy, but a collective voice is the loudest voice and this guide is a tool for us all to make some noise – the sooner you are part of it, the sooner conditions will improve for us all!

*During this conversation the concept of ‘naming and shaming’ came up.
I don’t believe in this, I believe that everyone has the capacity to be better and have hope that these employers will learn over time. Yet, there is a tension here - it is ethical that those with the responsibility to prevent harm are supported to learn when those who have been harmed are left without support or financial security as they recover? How do we reconcile what accountability actually looks like, from a place of expecting that everyone can be better and do better, whilst also ensuring that those who have been harmed can continue to feel safe in the industry?

During this meeting I also made a direct request of funders to extend their evaluation systems so that they engage with everyone on a project, more so in situations where a contract appears to have changed course because ultimately employers will tell a narrative that frames them well.